Marco.org

Jessica:

If you only call me when you want something, you’re definitely not going to get it.

That sure takes me back to college…

“Hey Marco, how are you doing? Good? Hey listen, my computer’s been a bit slow recently, could you take a look at it?”

It only stopped when I switched to Macs in 2004 and started lying and telling everyone that I didn’t know anything about PCs anymore. (Now it’s less of a lie… I’ve truly never used Windows Vista, and I intend to keep it that way for exactly this reason.)

I thought I was semi-popular in college because I met a billion girls during freshman year… removing the “Romeo and Juliet” virus from their computers. My services traveled like the virus: I’d be in a girls’ dorm fixing one computer, and three other women would hear about it and come in whining, “Hey, can you come next door and fix mine too?” And, like an idiot, I did, motivated by the delusion that I was making progress toward friendship or romance. (I’m so embarrassed by that period of my life that it’s truly painful to think about it.)

I’ll let you guess how many of those people ever talked to me again. Well, at least until they got the next virus. I’m just glad I got smarter before Snood came around.