I’m : a programmer, writer, podcaster, geek, and coffee enthusiast.

A multigrain bagel, toasted, with light butter.

I don’t eat “light” or “diet” products, generally — if something’s bad for me, I just eat less of it. As far as I can tell, the bagel shop doesn’t actually have a substance called “light butter”. But their default butter allocation is ridiculous, so when I order, I ask for a small amount. I’ve tried various phrases:

But these either get ignored, resulting in oversaturation, or translated when repeated back to me as “with light butter”. The only reliable way to ensure a small amount of butter is to specifically ask for “light butter”.

The inaccuracy of that phrase really bothers me.

(Next week’s rant: The nonstandard naming of the “multigrain” bagel. Or is it “seven-grain” today? “Whole wheat”? No, that’s something different in most places. I just want the one with the oats on the outside.)