Twitter Certified Products Program - Open for Business →
The language in this is so businessy that I barely even understand what they’re saying. Here’s my parody edit, containing only the mumbo-jumbo:
innovative products and services to businesses and organizations the Twitter ecosystem, brands, publishers, nonprofits, governments help them engage with their audience we’ve identified areas where we see huge demand for innovation platform program launching with three verticals based on needs we see from partners: Engagement Products, which help brands, Analytics Products, which help businesses, Data Reseller Products, which serve as platforms for innovation. We’ve summarized the program’s verticals along with example functionality to indicate features that businesses and Twitter find interesting. As new opportunities surface, we’re launching with partners unique product that fits the product verticals, solves a market need and has the potential for a large impact, please verify that your product meets all of the Program Requirements, and then head to the Program Application to let us know your interest may be a fit, we are very interested to learn more about your products and will get back to each application as soon as we can.
The bold sentence in the middle is unmodified.
It’s clear that, at every possible level in the company, Twitter is definitely “open for business”. The business culture has completely taken over.
It’s not nearly as friendly to users, of course. Twitter couldn’t give any less of a damn about us anymore. We’re the product now for their real customers who they’re so busy identifying value for. In the words of the great George Carlin, “It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it!”